What Is Love

I woke up to a weird misogynistic marriage ad on my Facebook feed this morning. My wife and I did go to a marriage course at our church last night but the main point of that is affordable childcare and a date night, and the date was fantastic. We went to a Mexican restaurant and then walked on the boardwalk while having a lovely conversation. My wife never did answer the question of what is love, but that’s no problem as Haddaway already gave us the answer in 1993 and it is, “Baby don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me, no more.”

As a person that does the marketing for my business and who has used Facebook ads I do understand how this all could be a coincidence. The ad simply could be directed at married men of a certain age and something I did unrelated to the marriage course could have triggered it but it is weird timing and it is a weird ad.

The bases of this marriage ad is telling men they are losers because they aren’t bedding their wives enough and that they won’t until they pay this dude money to become real men. It takes shots at the traditional marriage workshops ideas of talking to each other and spending time together. It is all about the man finding out the secret to being a true alpha male.

I remember the pastor questioning our selection of Bible passage when we got married, because instead of choosing something traditional like 1 Corinthians we chose 1 Timothy 6:18 which states, “Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.” To this day I believe that is the foundation of a strong relationship. In other words, “Be excellent to each other.”

A relationship is a long distance journey traveled over many roads by people who are constantly changing and growing. Neither myself nor my wife are the people who met at that movie theater in Gaithersburg, Md in 2006 nor are we the people that got married in Springfield, Va in 2009 nor are we the people that moved to Virginia Beach in 2015 nor are we the people whose twins were born in 2019. We are ever evolving and ever changing in a dynamic relationship and for that relationship to strengthen and grow communication is required.

I am grateful today that I have a life partner who wants to be on this journey of growth and development we call life together.