It is hard to be grateful when you wake up to bills on top of bills on top of bills, and then look at the bank account and see all the money added the previous day is already gone. This year has been stress upon stress upon stress. I do have the business back and headed in the right direction, but I feel like I am headed in the wrong one. I have a handle on nothing and none of my plans have even begun.
The biggest problem is trying to manage two households with the income for one. We are reaching a crossroads I never wanted to be at sooner than I thought we’d arrive. I am up early because I cannot sleep and I cannot sleep because everything is collapsing around me.
The point of gratitude is to look around at a point like this and remind yourself of the good things in life, but that gets more and more difficult when the good things seem so far away. We surround ourselves with material objects and distractions to make it appear that life is good, but what we really need is companionship and human interaction.
I’m rambling because I’m tired. Thoughts are hard to come by when stress and lack of sleep are eating the brain. I really didn’t expect to look at my bank account and see our weekly pay all gone already. Then to find another bill waiting in my email and to have more bills piling up on my desk. This is the year of the bills. Bills on top of bills on top of bills.
I am starting to think just putting this money in the stock market is a great idea. There aren’t any bills there, but then there isn’t the thrill of looking for places or trying to find the unicorn of houses that really pays out. I want some thrill from something, but what I really need is income. Income to make the bills go away.
Life is stress, but today will be good. I will get these bills paid and then I will figure out an activity to do with my children and we will all have a good day.
David Huzzard Writes 