Last night was the 6th session of the marriage series my wife and I are participating in at the church. The kids were far more excited than we were even when we didn’t allow them to take their Pokémon binders in. They are desperate to trade cards, and while that is part of the fun of trading cards I worry that they aren’t ready for shrewd negotiations and will end up giving away a card they will regret. That’s why I told them that no one that would be watching them tonight wanted to be the commissioner of trades and that we’d need to schedule a Pokémon party.
When it comes to the marriage series we are supposed to read a book, listen to a brief talk, and then go on a date while the church watches our kids. One of the other couples asked how we could get more people interested as some of the couples they talked to didn’t want to do it because of the stigma on marriage counseling, which this is not. I suggested a parent escape or parent’s night out and they mentioned how lots of couples don’t have kids or have grown kids and wouldn’t need the childcare.
The answer is marriage maintenance. Think of your relationships like you do an automobile. Even if you have the most reliable automobile on the market it isn’t going to last without proper maintenance. That is what these monthly nights are about. For us it is mostly about the date and childcare. We skimmed the book and did get some good conversations out of it, but mostly we enjoyed a child free couple hours together. That was especially nice after having been locked in the house with the children for the past two days.
Our relationships require work. Back when we got married one of the Bible verses read at our wedding was 1 Timothy 6:18, “Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share,” and as I’ve grown older I have come to see more wisdom in those few words than just a guide to a healthy relationship, but I still believe that that is the key to this whole marriage thing. Give to each other, and remind yourself occasionally of why you love a person. In other words just like routine maintenance is the key to responsible car ownership it is the key to a responsible relationship.
David Huzzard Writes 