Yesterday we arrive home from the bus stop and I check the mail. In it I discover a letter, addressed to Roland (a six year-old), explaining how he won’t be eligible for our health insurance plan next year because they discovered he is on Medicare. As Roland is six and doesn’t qualify for Medicare I call the insurance company. They tell me I have to call the Virginia Health Marketplace. While I am being run around through this series of events my wife is blowing up my phone as she just left with one kid for a doctor’s appointment and the other is following her down the street.
I am looking at both of the remaining kids and cannot answer the phone so I try and text her, ignore her, whatever but the phone won’t stop ringing and I cannot answer it. Eventually I get through to the Virginia Health Marketplace and talk with someone who forgot their hearing aids. I am also really bad at the game where you have to spell something back, especially for the letter C.
When the lady tries to spell my last name Huzznye I say no, A as in Apple (got that one), R as in Re….(can’t say that) Reprobate, and D as in David. She then spells it back to me but starts with the H which starts to upset me because I was sure I said Apple and not Happle. Eventually I understand and we get further into the phone call.
While this is going on Roland is wondering the house blowing a whistle and Abigail is trying to fill five snack bags with various snacks because Abigail always needs a variety of things. Abigail also somehow found some food safety gloves I didn’t know what had and was wearing those while trying to fill the five small snack bags. Suffice it to say most of the snacks are ending up on the floor. I am on an important phone call. I am powerless to help or end the situation because both of those result in a screaming child and I am on the phone.
Now here is where things get real phone. Suddenly my phone starts ringing again. I send to voicemail. I think that is the end of it, but the phone rings again and then is texted and then a message from a client comes in saying they are outside. Then my wife is calling again. I am losing track of what is being said to me, but I am sure it is important.
There is a client outside our house that owes us money. I start outside then remember I have two small children inside and retreat to the doorway. I watch this person expecting them to behave normal. They do not. I wave for them to come to the door. I am on the phone, I have two small children. I tell the person on the phone another situation has arisen and I have no idea what she is saying to me. I have no idea if our health insurance will auto-renew.
The client continues to sit in their car. They will not come to the door. I yell for them to just come to the door. They put the back payment in our mailbox and drive away. After I am off the phone I run to get it. The two small children are now settled. I get it and bring it in. It is a $100 bill. I look at it and everything looks good except the security strip. It looks like it is tapped on and doesn’t show bells or 100’s. I am suspicious. The client’s activity before leaving this doesn’t help.
When I tell people everything I do has a slightly higher degree of difficulty this is what I mean. I just wanted to get to the bottom of this letter. However all of this had to happen at the exact same moment. All of it. I threw the letter out and will let fate decide if Roland has health insurance next year. To hell with Sentara and the Virginia Health Marketplace.
David Huzzard Writes 