Rediscovering Myself

It might be a part of parenthood or a part of getting older or a part of living through the last decade, but somewhere along the way I lost a part of myself. I lost my confidence. I don’t know what happened to it or where it went, but it feels like I have a limiter on myself. Every time I have an idea I stop myself and go no that won’t work or I can’t do that because. Now I need a way to rediscover myself.

Last night I was reading first hand testimonials from ADHD patients and it made me jealous. One of our boys was recently diagnosed with ADHD and we’ve been spinning our wheels to try the therapy first. All we’re getting in that vein is a run around. I have always viewed the medicine as a corrective. It is like eye glasses. A simple and easy medical solution. Reading the testimonials confirmed that. The medication is like a miracle for those that take it.

It made me wonder if there is a pill somewhere that could help my mental state. Something easy with limited side-effects. Like the ADHD medication. I highly doubt I have ADHD and taking a stimulant would not be good for me. It wouldn’t solve any of my issues and would probably create more.

I think doctors try alternative first because of criticism of prescribing medication too fast or as a response to the opioid epidemic and not because the medication isn’t the best solution. I experienced the same thing with my cholesterol medication. The doctor wanted me to try other things for a year. At the end of the day the medication was the best solution and that medication has some nasty side-effects.

Medication is a corrective. It is like eye glasses. No one is out there telling people to try diet and exercise when they are having trouble seeing. It is simply you need eye glasses. I’ve always wondered when better living through chemistry became oh my god not chemicals. It is a strange cultural shift and I do wonder if it is partly the opioid epidemic.

Doctors and pharmaceutical companies were pushing drugs that were seen as a miracle but ultimately did more harm than good. It grew distrust and impacted entire communities. Now we’re all dealing with the consequences.