I have written so many mornings not knowing what to say or where to start, and this is another one of those mornings. I haven’t spent a day without stress in I don’t know how long. It is hard when I seem to be the only one aware of certain situations and realities.
I don’t know how to get rid of the stress. The problem with stress is it builds more stress. Any activity that you hope to do to relieve the stress is interrupted by it. Thoughts are hard to get rid of. The become pervasive and domineering. Concentration is nearly impossible.
I try and focus one day at a time, but I need to keep my mind to the future. To understand what is coming and what is needed to get there. The problem is the future is only a rumor if we never make it. There is a date when everything should be good but that is five months away, and we do not know what condition everything will be then.
In order to get to that future date in the first place I need to find some way to relieve my stress and I am at a loss. Deep hypnosis to think the situation is better? Hard drugs so I reach oblivion and I’m unconcerned about anything else? Placing a large bet at the casino in hopes I can create enough money to make the problems go away?
Those are all silly and ineffective solutions. I need to find a way to get the people that are supposed to be working with me to work with me. The reality of the situation is not good. It is in fact bad, and could get even worse if certain markers are missed.
The biggest problem is I set in motion a plan several months ago and did not know the culmination of that plan would occur at a time when everything else was falling away. We have reached one critical juncture and once through it and on the correct course everything should be good. The spreadsheet tells me so. We just have to reach that point.
David Huzzard Writes 