Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away…I mean I had an all day learning day. It was on people which meant core values, hiring, team building, and all that jazz. One part of it was doing our own DiSC assessment and learning a lot of shockingly accurate stuff about myself.
It told me I am something called a DS-bridge, which is unfortunately not a new Nintendo system. It means that I internalize frustration and hold onto things while quietly trying to fix everything on my own without anyone else noticing. I also see crisis early and often invent my own. The one thing that really hit me was a very real explanation of why my days start off high energy and optimistic while my afternoons crash.
I tend to wake up with massive overload of energy. Ready to explode it into the world. I’ve been this way for a long time. It is why I waited until the last last minute to do college papers. I thrive with a real sense of urgency. Combine that with my morning energy and BOOM!!! Shit gets done.
That is how I feel right now. I am ready to hit the ground running. It is why I am so shocked when I wake up with little energy. I feel like what is going on. I wake up feeling like not myself. Then I am confused and my brain isn’t working and I have no mechanism to prime the pump.
My normal rhythm is a I get up and ease into my mornings. I do my trivia quiz, get my coffee, write this little blog, and then to the task. Whether that is a video game, reading, or work related stuff I do it with energy. Which isn’t always great for reading, but man. This morning I am ready to go. I am ready to hit this day hard.
This is what that assessment showed me. I wake up with all this D energy and then by the afternoons I start fighting myself. Wondering if I broke something or if what I did was really the right thing. All my Sness emerges and I sink into myself and am worthless from 2:00 PM on. It isn’t self-doubt like I always thought it is an internal argument with myself that only sounds a lot like self-doubt but should be reframed as self-refinement.
David Huzzard Writes 