Life with babies and with running a business can be a hectic one, but it can also be a boring one. Typically January is our slow month and then things pick back up in February, but this year was a little different. Business was up by 85% from last January to this one, and February is not the uptick I was expecting. We have also recently hired and most of what I would have done in the past is being covered. That means I ended up with a total of one visit to do the entire weekend.
I had forgotten what it is like to have a weekend off and since this wasn’t a planned weekend off I didn’t really want to go anywhere or do anything. I figured the babies would give me plenty of work, and on Sunday they did. Saturday was a completely different story. Before I had to leave and do my visit they were completely at peace and were having a ball either playing by themselves or sleeping. That left me to spend a lot of time with myself. Something I haven’t done in a very long time.
Most of the time when I’m at home trying to grab relaxation time it is just that. I am trying to grab that time, hold on tight, and not let go. If I dilly dally or delay in my relaxation it won’t happen. It can make relaxation itself start to feel like work. If I’m going to read between visits and when the babies aren’t crying I better do it quickly and concentrate on it because that state won’t last long. My down time is lived an hour here or an hour there. It has been rare in the last couple years for it to be hours of time, and it has been especially rare for those hours to be spread out over multiple days.
That is why on Saturday when I found myself with nothing to do I was so struck by the feeling. I didn’t feel like reading anymore, I haven’t found a video game in awhile that has gripped me, and I didn’t want to watch a TV show or movie. I just didn’t want to do anything and that left me with nothing to do. I am a person that has to always be doing something. Nothing is not a thing I want to do.
Looking back at this past Saturday I understand how important boredom is. If we are never in that state of not wanting to do anything and having nothing to do then we won’t appreciate what we need to do. While work can be difficult and when we are doing it we wish to be doing something else we have to understand that that something else might not be all that interesting. We think of boredom as a bad thing, but isn’t it more our natural state of being. A state of readiness waiting for the next thing to do, and to have that much downtime certainly has me ready to get back to work.