I’m not certain how I ended up here. Sitting here in front of this computer writing my evening journal. The day wasn’t too busy with work, I don’t think I spent any more time than normal with my family, I read some, and played some video games. Not one thing stands out as accounting for the hours in the day, but in combination they have washed them all away.
The day is over and it doesn’t feel like it should be. I did nothing to a level that should account for all the hours in the day. Ask me and I will tell you I worked for around five hours, played video games for one and a half, read for two, and spent the rest with my family. It doesn’t feel right though. I woke up at 5:30. It is now 8:30. That is 15 hours. If I read for two, worked for five, and played video games for one and a half that is eight and a half hours meaning I spent seven and a half with my family. It does not feel like that at all and I am certain my wife will say that same.
Where does all that time go? Those missing hours of the day. They vanished and I know not where. They are not part of any day I know or remember. Perhaps this is all a side effect of having stayed up far later than normal. When I was at my first visit of the day I recall thinking that this wasn’t so bad and perhaps I should stay up to 10:00 or 11:00 more often. I can pull off the staying up until then and getting up at 5:30 thing.
By my second visit of the day I was over that thought and by the end of the day I felt like I was going to fall asleep behind the wheel of my car. I could have used a nap today but I never took one, at least knowingly. I wouldn’t say this has been a long day either. One of those days that drags on an on. I hardly remember today.
Yet here I am. Winding it down about to shuffle off to sleep. Much needed sleep at this point. Tomorrow I get to do it all again. I will once again spend the day trying and failing to accomplish anything. I met known of my goals. I didn’t read 50 pages nor did I watch any movies or tv shows and I didn’t play much of the video game I’ve been playing. It is a remake I beat in a week when it came out and I am on my third or fourth week playing it and I’m not even half way.
Time changes. How we interpret time changes. How we experience time changes. Today is over and it is time to move on to tomorrow. Maybe I’ll remember what happens then.