You Wanted a Lover but Ended up With a Wife

Awhile ago my wife suggested I join some dad groups on Facebook. She said being in the mom’s groups on there helped her to realize how well together she was compared to the rest of the world or something like that. I can’t remember her exact words so I will make them more interesting.

One of the groups I quit almost immediately as it claimed to not allow politics but then every post was some anti-trans BS. The others have been just fine. It is normal stuff but I have noticed one complaint above all others. The dads want sex and not from each other. They want it from their wives and their wives are tired and frustrated and want absolutely no human contact at the end of the day. My wife is exactly the same and is going to beat me up for saying so.

Here is the thing about relationships though. Like everything in life they evolve, they change, and it is the inflexible that break. I have had my frustrations and moments of anger and weakness in my time as a husband. My wife and I have been at odds about every topic couples are at odds about, but to make a relationship last and work you have to love all the people the person you are married to becomes and not only who they were when you got married.

Physically every cell in the human body is replaced over a seven year cycle. Meaning that a couple that every seven years the person you are with is physically an entirely different person than they were seven years prior. Mentally the process can happen much quicker.

My wife is my friend, my lover, my business partner, my co-parent, and many other things and will be even more things as we continue to grow and evolve together. Relationships change and if we are unable to change with them then they will end. I try my best to be understanding of this fact. To flow with the slow march of time instead of being run over by it.

A wise many once said it isn’t the unknown that people fear, it is the inevitable, and change in a relationship is inevitable. It might be a lover we want but it is a wife we end up with and if we are in the parenting stage of a relationship then the lover phase is going to have to wait their turn.