I recently watched Obsession and while my thoughts this morning turned to it due to my recent purchase of Comcast stock and it becoming the most profitable film of all time my thoughts quickly turned to the movie itself and some of the themes present. I make no promises about spoilers if you continue to read.
With that out of the way let’s get back to my thoughts. First there was a small moment last night where my wife was teasing me and I said, “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” And her response was, “I’m supposed to, aren’t I?” And while I didn’t think of the movie in that moment it highlights exactly what makes Bear’s wish so unhealthy.
Let’s breakdown the wish. Bear wishes for Nikki that she loves him more than anyone in the world. Let’s start at the beginning and that is the first destructive part. He wishes for someone else. He makes a wish that is going to fundamentally change who they are. Then let’s move to the action. He wants her to love him. Now go to 100 people and ask them to define love and you’ll get 100 different answers, and that doesn’t even get into the kinds of love there are. Then last the more than anyone in the world part. Now one loves one singular person to that degree. Our love can shift and oscillate. One day we may very well love our spouse and life partner more than anyone in the world and the next our children and the next our parents and the next…you get the point.
Real healthy love isn’t loving someone more than anything and doing everything every day to make them happy and all of that. Healthy love is choosing and being chosen and living with and through all the good, bad, and ugly that comes with it. We end up loving people in spite of a lot of mistakes and flaws.
Think about how grateful we should be to have been chosen. There is someone that loves you and has chosen to be with you. To accept you for who you are and to join you on the journey to who you are going to become. We should thank these people every day for everything we make them put up with.
David Huzzard Writes 