An American Reads The Lord’s Prayer

As America is
a good Christian nation
I’m going to celebrate the 4th
with a reading of
The Lord’s Prayer.
Our Father, who art in heaven,
And that’s where he belongs.
Up there in heaven
watching over good
God-fearing Christian Americans,
God’s children.
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
Now, wait here a minute.
This is American.
We don’t need no kingdom coming.
Last time a kingdom were here
we shot them.
What’s this kingdom coming to do?
Tax us? Take or jobs?
No thanks.
on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.
This sounds like socialism.
We don’t be wanting that.
And forgive us out debts,
Now who’s going to pay for that?
This is the land of the free.
Not of kingdoms coming,
handing out bread,
or forgiving debts.
If we forgave everyone’s debts
the economy just wouldn’t work.
As I forgive my debtors.
See that’s what I was afraid of.
God trying to make everything fair.
Ain’t no one ever tell this God
life isn’t fair.
Whatever happened to personal responsibility.
If people wanting to be forgiven their debts
alls they gots to do
is apply themselves.
Bootstraps and all that.

And lead us not into temptation;
but deliver us from evil.
Right then. Now we’re getting somewhere.
Deliver us from the evils of socialism
and those with lifestyles I don’t agree with.
For thine is the kingdom,
the power and the glory,
for ever and ever.
That’s right. Eternal power.
Like the flag of the good old U.S.A.
sowed by Jesus and George Washington
at the battle of the transcontinental railroad.

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