Jesus Was Talking About You

When our lord Jesus said don’t be an asshole he meant you. He didn’t mean for only all the other assholes to not be assholes he meant for all the assholes to not be assholes and that includes you. I was thinking about this this morning when I realized that all these people running around making up for their small peckers with guns think that whole swords in the plowshares and loving your enemy thing is for everyone but them.

There are entire segments of religion that preach hellfire and brimstone, end of times, and all that good rubbish and the congregation sits their whooping and hollering and generally caring on like the preacher isn’t tell their asses they’re going to hell. They think hell is the place for everyone that isn’t them and they can go around not giving a darn about anyone but themselves, spreading diseases, promoting gun violence, and wishing poverty and infertility on anyone that isn’t them instead of loving thy neighbor and doing good works. They think some fake moral code they don’t even follow makes them righteous.

I am halfway through with this writing and I think I’ve finished it out. This past year and a half or three quarters has been tiring as hell and today has been extra stressful. My wife just showed me a picture of guns police confiscated before a high school football game and my only reaction was yeah that’s the world we live in now. It is the world they want.

Who are they you ask, intelligently. They are the ones going out there pretending to give a damn and blaming everyone but themselves for societies problems. Societies problems are all our problems. They are yours and mine and everyones and I’m going to be good god damned if I help my children navigate the dangers of being toddlers and a global pandemic only for some asshole to shoot them in 10 to 12 years because a bunch of other assholes refused to give up their weapons.

We live in bloody peace times in the richest country in the world. What dangers do you think you need guns for? Don’t answer that you racist bastards. You know the answer. I hear it in your heads talking about thugs and those types of people and all that. Well, I’ve got some bad news Jesus expects better of you and it’s time to get to beating and turn those swords into plowshares or guns into bookends and whatnot.

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