I could make a million excuses as to why I haven’t written anything in this space for a good bit but that is what they’d be. Excuses. I could say that my children have been staying up later than I’d like or that I’ve exerted too much energy during the day or that I ran out of ideas, but those are all excuses. The truth is I just wanted to go to sleep and let my writing slip.
With the kids getting older and more active during the day and seeking freedom more and more it has been difficult, but that is no excuse. The original plan was to set a ten minute timer to show myself how much writing I could get done in a seemingly short amount of time. I proved that to myself. Then I ventured into other projects an experiments. That was a small mistake. I shouldn’t have combined these nightly writings with anything else. This should have been this and that that.
So much has happened in the world since I last wrote and none of it has been good. That might have been some of it as well. I turned this space away from its original intention and invited in a loss of focus. I yearned to write my thoughts and feeling on all the terrible and tragic happenings of the world but had removed my outlet from myself.
Here I am giving it back. I am returning this to its original intention or the one I gave it at some point. This is a space for my writing. Whatever form or fashion that takes is up to me, but I like it as the nightly ten minute journal. That is a thing that works. Other things don’t work as well.
I don’t have much more to say tonight and I am again learning how slow time moves. Writing is like a muscle. When it hasn’t been worked for a long time it losses strength and my writing muscles are indeed weak. I need to stretch them out, warm them up, and getting them moving again.
The only purpose here is that there is no purpose. This is the space for me to write. If anyone reads those writings then good and if not I do not care. That is not the purpose. I write because I want to and while I hope I can impart some knowledge on the world it is not necessary.