Yesterday I was walking through the chip aisle deciding what snacks we needed. The oddest part of this is we still have chips from last week. I do not know how. I really don’t. Five of us have been munching on this one bag of chips for an entire week and it has lasted. It normally doesn’t make it a day.
Now to the new experience with chips. Some of the fancier chips caught my attention this week. I first saw an Iberian pork flavored chip that was $12 a bag and I thought that is insane and then I noticed the other gourmet chips and that brought my eyes all the way down to some chips that were fried in beef tallow.
Being old enough to remember the old McDonald’s fries I was interested and despite the $9 price tag picked up the bag of chips. It was light. Very light. Only 5 oz light. Undeterred I spun the bag around to get the lowdown on these chips. What I discovered insulted me as a business owner. It might have been some of the worst ad copy ever written. The bag was clearly designed by ChatGPT so it might have written the ad copy as well. Off a really bad prompt.
Keep in mind this is a 5 oz bag of chips selling for $9 and sitting right near the already expensive Kettle brand of chips. It has got to make a sale here, and this is that final 10%. I had picked up the chip bag and was examining it despite everything else. This company is in the red zone. All they need is a little tush push and that bag of chips is going in my bag. I had just put pistachio syrup for my coffee in the bag for God’s sake. This isn’t hard. I am a sucker for delicious things.
Did these chips tell me they were delicious? No!!!! They told me that America had lost its way. Using seed oils and blah blah blah. Loads of political dog whistles and then the kicker. The thing that actually made me put the chips back, write a hate post on Facebook, have a conversation with ChatGPT about the chips, and write this blog post about them. They told me they found a cheaper and easier way to make chips. If it is so damn cheap and easy why is their sorry ass charging $9 for a 5 oz bag of chips?
Feeling insulted and a little peeved I put the chips back, checked out, and got on with my day still pissed about stupid potato chips, and I bought the Wegmans family size chips for $3.
